So last night was another one of those nights. They are when I stay up for hours just...thinking. I'll say I'm going to sleep at 12 and not wind up actually going to bed until 2 or 3. Just sitting up and thinking. I believe its all the backlog of what didn't get thought about during the day. Stuff that my brain didn't get a chance to process during the day and needed absolute silence to really bring up again. Sometimes its something random that happened during the day, but most of the time its about death.
I think I know why my brain decides to think about death right before I go to sleep. It is because sleep is the closest thing to death that I will experience before it actually happens. My eyes are closed, my brain is not on this world anymore, and you could do things to me and I might not wake up from it. I always feel like, I will go to sleep, miss something in life, and wake up to find everything different. While I was sleep, my life has changed. And it scares the fuck outta me when I think about it.
However, I always comfort myself with a few facts. For one..God has a plan for everyone, and that plan is going to work regardless of what you try and do. He gave us a brain to fight things, to make it seem like it swayed in our favor, but really, he knew how it was going to turn out before we did. So yes, fight things, dont sit back idley, but know that no matter what happens in the end, God wanted it too. Also another fact is that, death is inevitable and we must accept it. Its probably the only thing that always comes with life. No matter how far you decide to run away, you can't escape death. So we can only accept it. And finally, this really isnt a fact but a hope, that there is something beyond life that we get to go to after dying. I cant accept death if its truly the end..so i must hope that it isn't. The worst part about this last hope is that I don't know how it will turn out till I die.
So thats about it, kinda a sad second post for a blog. But its just something that I was thinking about last night. Hope I didn't scare anyone.
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um, yes God has a plan for everyone but, he helps those who help themselves. He knew it was gonna happen but, that doesn't mean sit back and chill & let him do all the work. Also, the devil is alive & well so don't get caught up thinking everything is in God's will if you're one of those ppl who goes astray.
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